Interview with Joyce Anthony

POPS: So, dig this, Joyce was supposed to be my very first interview. Ended up she was a 'tad late' handing in her answers so I shoved her in third spot. Sorry, that's how the ball rolls around here. You're either quick or you might end up pulled down underneath the earth by some BRAK who loves to spit up his slime. Anyway...

POPS: Welcome to Rock Kingdom’s Citizens blog, Joyce. It’s a terrible name since I am NOT a citizen of—

JINX: But I am and I can attest, dear lady, that it IS the best—

POPS: Beat it, twerp. This is my interview. Joyce, to save me the trouble looking up who you are, can you tell us a bit about yourself? Like, who your master is, where they keep you, if they feed you well, if you have room to run around and play?

JOYCE: You are a feisty one, Pops!!! I have no master—I’m feral to the core. My playground is Pennsylvania and the written word and all you have to do is look at me to know I’m well fed. Who is your master may I ask???

POPS: Um, you got it all wrong. I’m asking the questions around here. I’m curious to find out if you’ve got any characters better than me in your book(s). I mean, do you have any handsome squirrels running around in your stories? If so, do you feed them well cos if you do, you know, I can jump in and join your books.

JINX: That’s not nice to Lea.

POPS: Whatever. I go where there’s food.

JOYCE: I have a chinchilla named Elvis at home. He’s close to a squirrel. Maggie is my favorite critter in Storm—she has amethyst-colored eyes and helps perform miracles—can you do that? She’s big—maybe Butch would like to meet her!!!

POPS: Why does everyone think about Butch? What did he do? Okay, so he saved our sorry butts, so? But hey, your chinchilla sounds cute but Elvis? Geez. No imagination. I noticed on your oh-so-colorful site that you also do interviews. Obviously not as colorful and fun like me but curious why you’ve never interviewed me?

JINX: Um…maybe cos she wants to keep her readers? Hehehhe

JOYCE: What have you published? (Jinx be nice!!) Do you think you can handle an interview by me—I’m up to the challenge if you aren’t too scared?????

POPS: Published? Now, you do know that I am a fictional character, right? If I were to publish over real people how do you think they’d feel? And for your information, I was interviewed by Jan Verhoeff and you can check it out at http://monstermoney maker.com. So if you want, bring it on! How many books do you think it’ll take you before you consider yourself a successful writer? Oh, and if you find any of my questions a bit too hard for you…suck it up and try to answer them, okay? I have readers who want to know the answers.

JOYCE: Hard—honey, you haven’t reached hard yet!! Every book I publish is a success. My goal is to write a good book, have it published and have it mean something to my readers—with those as my goals, how can I lose??

POPS: Okay, can’t argue with that. Have you ever puked during an interview or workshop? Or wanted to puke? I know I felt like puking when the Braks captured me. Let me tell you their stink—

JINX: Interview Joyce don’t interview you.

JOYCE: No—but I’ve passed out when trying to give a talk. I don’t handle large audiences in person. Online, on the radio…I’m fine.

POPS: I remember Lea saying something about you being morbid, like asking her to write her obituary. Is that right? Where do you come from? Are you trying to jinx her? You trying to rub us out? What would it say on YOUR tombstone?

JOYCE: Morbid?? What better way to focus on your one most important goal in life?? I’m not trying to wipe you out, but I might just whomp you upside the head if you don’t tune down that little attitude Mister!!! My tombstone will simply say: She made a difference.

POPS: No need for any whomping, thank you very much. I get that from Butch. Can you name me 3 promotional tips you’ve used for your book? Ones that have been successful. Don’t want to hear the old sob story, “But I did promote, I really, really did.”

JOYCE: I’m still working on my greatest endeavors. Let’s see…I got my blog started and updated EVERY day—this is bringing in a lot of traffic—we’ll see what it does for sales. I’ve placed postcards on cars and passed out bookmarks on the bus and I’ve left copies of my book in waiting rooms. My biggest success so far was a month-long virtual book tour!!! Now, I’m about to embark on a cross-country virtual railway trip.

POPS: Great, thanks. Jinx, here, take this last answer to Lea so she can use it. Um, where was I…Oh yeah. Are you cute?

JINX: What does that have to do with her being a writer?

POPS: Beat it. Take the note to Lea. So Joyce, are you cute? And it is important but you’ll wait to find out why.

JOYCE: It depends on whom you ask—my critters, who are all rescues, think I’m beautiful!

POPS: Okay, I didn’t have an answer, just curious. Do you have a best buddy? My bud is Butch, he’s my Hercules, my hero, my—

JINX: Ha! Never thought I’d see the day when I say—SUCK UP!

JOYCE: Nobody likes a brown-noser, Pops!!! My bestest pal is an eighty pound horse, disguised as a Labrador retriever, who thinks he’s a cat!!! His name is Sam.

POPS: I’m not a suck up. How did I get into this? Busting my brains here to make this a bit longer. Oh, do people ask for your autograph? If yes, what for? If no, what’s the matter, no one reads your books?

BUTCH: I think that’s about enough for this interview, Joyce.

POPS: Oh hey, Butch. Did you hear what I said about you, pal?

BUTCH: Joyce, is there anything else you’d like to say before I trample all over my ‘pal’?

JOYCE: First, nobody asks for my autograph—yet!!! I’d like to ask you and all your readers to wander on over and read an excerpt from Storm at http://joyceanthony.tripod.com. They can meet some of my characters (Butch, are you listening—check Maggie out!!) and then can stop by my blog and check out some other interviews!!! Thanks for the interview, Pops—I think I know your secret—you are really an old softy, hiding behind the sarcasm—shh, I won’t tell!!!

POPS: You’re going to give me a baaaadddd reputation, Joyce.